The Cryptogram of Caravaggio: Preface

Several years ago, The Da Vinci Code radically altered the way we think about the Catholic Church and how we use the English language ("Monet literally gave birth to the Impressionist Movement"). Now a mysterious new novel promises to pick up where Dan Brown left off, and that's bad news for Catholics everywhere.

A reader named Randal Bufton, whom I don't know but who is apparently pretty smart because he likes this site, sent us a very strange, very troubling manuscript. After reading the document myself, I've decided that it's so important it merits a double-post. Today I'll post his explanation for how he got hold of what he sent us. Later this week I'll post the amazing text itself.

Without further ado, here's Mr. Bufton's preface:

"I was at my neighborhood franchise of a national chain of coffee shops last week, reading the Times and listening to the incredible new Paul McCartney album (fyi, it really is as good as his Wings material!) when I was distracted by the commotion at a nearby table. Two men were having a quite heated exchange. One of them looked like a student, the other was a priest (I'm basing this on his attire -- he was wearing a habit or whatever you call it) in his middle ages. The priest was saying, 'You don't realize what this means! This could do irreparable harm to everything we know!' The student was shaking his head vigorously and waving sheets of paper, saying, 'No Father, I DO know what it means, which is why I'm writing it -- the truth must be told!'

"At that, the priest reached over the table to grab the manuscript, but was only able to seize a few pages before his adversary drew them out of reach and ran out the door. Rather than giving chase, the priest cursed in frustration, then crumpled the papers and stuffed them into his half-finished grande latte. He sat there and shook his for a few minutes before leaving, and once he was gone a mob of patrons and baristas rushed to his table to see the document that had so upset him. I managed to get there first to retrieve the cup and its controversial contents.

"After shaking the excess coffee and cream from the sheets, I saw no no name attached to the document, nor was there a date. It was handwritten in black ink on looseleaf paper, apparently college-ruled.

"Though I'm not Catholic, I found the fragments quite shocking, and it indeed did upend all that I knew about Christianity. Knowing that yours is one of the most [important] and [interesting] websites around, I thought you'd be interested in reading and posting this."

Indeed we are. Stay tuned for the manuscript itself...